The Coveted Award

Importance of Respect

Why is respect so important and what is respect? Respect is a positive feeling of admiration or deference for a person or other entity (such as a nation or a religion), and also specific actions and conduct representative of that esteem , The most important thing in life is to raise above dualities of it. Through out our life, we keep on facing respect and disrespect, success and failures, honour and ignominy etc. Similarly, we should never be distressed by insults and disrespects also. Had Gandhi, Mother Teresa not maintained their balance when they were insulted, they would not have become great. Even if we can not reach their level, we should try to maintain our cool for our own good.Therefore balance of mind is very important than respect we get.
Respect is the most important thing human beings can give each other. It is more important than kindness, tolerance, patience, This is because respect contains all of these elements. If you give a person respect, then you are giving him all of these at once.
How ? If you respect them , You would be kind with them because you admire them, You would have more tolerance to them because you understand that they are merely humans who make mistakes – Just like everyone else – ,You would be more patient with them because as you respect them you realize how busy they might be and you appreciate the time they have given you.
By respect, I mean allowing a person the dignity to make their own choices and behave as they see fit. You may not like the choices they makes. You may think they are screwing up their life But if they are adults, and they are not causing harm to anyone except perhaps themselves then it is your obligation, as a respectful person, to let them make their own choices.
This is the key concept: you don’t allow people the dignity to make their own choices because they are respectful; you allow people the dignity to make their own choices because you are respectful. Other people may or may not be respectful; if they are doing things that drive you crazy, chances are they haven’t learned a lot about respect yet. But if you hold respect as a value, then you will behave respectfully towards all people, whether they deserve it or not. Respect is what we choose for ourselves, regardless of how other people behave. We may not always achieve total respect all the time (doing so is hard), but we should understand why it is a worthwhile ideal to work toward.

Should Respect be Earned or Given ?

Now that’s a paradox but we shall clarify it, You should give respect to everyone but earn yours, Give those who differ with you in opinion more importantly than those who agrees with you , Learn to accept the other person’s perspective, If you and the other person done that you can have a classy argument about almost anything as long as there is mutual respect, Hear different perspectives. Be considerate of other people’s viewpoints, and recognize that every opinion is valuable.
When it comes to you , You have to be accountable for what you do, and let God deal with the other person. Whether they respect you or not , it’s not up to you , what matter the most that you’ve done your part by acting in a respectful way, We should never be carried away by the praises, respect or honours; otherwise, we may fall prey to ego. If it comes into your life ,Welcome it , If it didn’t , Continue on improving yourself morally for your own good first then to earn your respect secondly.

Self-Respect and Self-Esteem

The primary reason that people need self-respect is that without it, they will be unhappy and not take care of themselves. Without self-respect, many people will fail to realize that what they want and need in life does actually matter, and because of this, they will go through life being miserable. They are also more likely to take risks with their health and the law, because they don’t think that their life is worth all that much, or that people don’t care what happens to them. Self-respect is necessary to have a happy and satisfying life, so everybody needs to have respect for themselves.
The second important reason that people need self-respect is that you need to respect yourself before anyone else will respect you. If someone has so little self-respect and self-esteem that they are unable to stand up for themselves, no one is going to respect them.

The best way to distinguish between Self-Esteem and Self-Respect is as follows:

Self-esteem is that feeling of knowing we can conduct ourselves well out there in the world. For example, we may know that we are good at our job, or that our families are thriving due to our leadership. We may have a good grasp on how to budget our time and/or money, and our relationships with friends and family may be mostly positive and nurturing. Outwardly, we are successful in at least some of the ways our society defines success, and that contributes to our self-esteem.
But I believe that it’s very possible to experience self-esteem while having very little self-respect. To me, self-respect is that deeper, inner feeling we have about ourselves. In the same way that self-esteem is earned, by proving to ourselves that we can achieve positive results in our various life tasks, self-respect is also earned—it’s an ‘inside job’ that nobody can do for us. Self-respect is not something we can buy in the 7-11, nor can another person bestow it upon us. In fact, when other people respect us but we don’t respect ourselves, it’s very difficult to let that positive attention in. It’s not until we truly love and respect ourselves, that we can begin to believe that we are worthy of another person’s love and respect.
The only way to have self-respect is to earn it—by continuing to do the next right thing. Self-respect is perhaps the most important thing we either have or don’t have, because it forms the keystone of how we treat ourselves and how we allow others to treat us. I believe that every decision we make in life—without exception—stems from our level of self-respect, and nothing is more important than that.
how to put yourself first without feeling guilty or “selfish.” But if you continue to put others first while feeling resentful or badly about yourself for doing that, your self-respect will inevitably suffer.
So here is the choice-point—what is more important to you: having other people like you or liking yourself?

We teach others how to treat us

When we fully understand that we teach other people how to treat us—either by how we treat them or how they see us treating ourselves—we can learn to change our own behaviors and obtain different, healthier results.
Because the only things we can change already reside within us—such as our choices, our decisions, our attitudes toward ourselves and life in general—we can come out of our feelings of ‘victim’ by acknowledging that we do actually have control over many aspects of our lives.
So the next time you say yes to someone when you really want to say no, be aware that you may be teaching that person that it’s ok to take you for granted and treat you poorly. The next time you are spoken to in a disrespectful manner and you choose to accept that by staying silent rather than standing up for yourself and speaking your truth, see if you can remind yourself that you can indeed make another choice and teach that person to treat you differently.
Remember—you alone are in control of yourself and of your life choices. And to paraphrase Eleanor Roosevelt’s wonderful comment, no one can make you feel badly about yourself without your permission.

Some Myths about Respect

1:Respect is not blind obedience, compliance, or agreement. When your children spread their wings or test their boundaries or argue with you, it may feel like disrespect but it’s not necessarily.
But how you disagree -for instance, by insulting that person’s intelligence or disparaging their opinion – may show a lack of respect. Parents can help their children learn this distinction, by encouraging them to voice their own unique opinions- in a polite way -and teaching them that their opinion won’t necessarily change your mind. But it could! Respecting them will mean listening to more than their words, but also their hearts.

2:Respect is not fear. A parent who gets obedience by instilling fear, may get results, but that’s not respect. It can breed a lot of other things as well—hate, contempt, irritation—but it’s unlikely to develop into respect. And it doesn’t teach a child about why they are or are not allowed to do something. Fear-based parenting is a poor communication method.

3: Respect is not common courtesy and manners. These things can convey respect, but they don’t encompass what respect is at its root. Respect is not just a taught habit as are manners. What is considered courteous can change from culture to culture, region to region, generation to generation, and family to family. But respect – treating each human being with care and consideration – is the same thing universally.

4: Respect is for men and Love is for women, Both elements are important to both men and women, The existence of one doesn’t decrease the importance of the other, Men want to be respected and loved , women wants to be loved and respected , we shall dwell on the relationship of both below.

How to Earn Respect

1:Respect yourself. If you do not respect yourself, others will sense this and treat you accordingly.Take care of your appearance by being hygienic. Being poorly groomed usually sends a negative message to others about your self-worth.

2:Keep your promises. This is by far one of the most important actions you can take to start gaining respect. If you took commitments lightly in the past, don’t do that anymore. Always honor commitments and promises. If you find yourself having a lot of trouble with that, it means you make too many promises you can’t keep.

3:Maintain your integrity. Say what you mean and mean what you say. It’s the cornerstone of earned respect.

4:Fight the good fight on the critical issues. Respect is accorded to those who know which battles are worth engaging in. Be brave enough to stand up for what you believe in

5:Delegate as much as possible. Allow others to show off their strength and respect them for it; in turn they will respect you

6:Always be on time. It shows respect for others. Never miss a deadline. The best form of respect is to get things done well and on time

7:Apologize. When you are wrong, simply say you are sorry.
Swallow your false pride and have the moral courage to admit it.

8:Don’t kiss and tell. Sometimes, it’s not what you say that matters; it’s what you don’t say. If you’ve not respected your partner’s privacy , someone else is going to violate yours. Blame karma on this one.

9:Practice authentic listening. When you listen, you show that you care.And you respect the other person

10:Learn from others. Acknowledge how much you don’t know.
True respect comes from the humility of knowing that every person you meet can teach you something.

11:See the opposing viewpoint. Trying to understand the other human’s views, even if it’s different from your own- it doesn’t mean you are agreeing with them, but it shows respect for their opinion.

12:Respect others. Because respect is a two-way street, by respecting others, you will find yourself respected. This is also known as the “Golden Rule” , treating others as you wish to be treated.Don’t “bad-mouth” other people. That means that if there is a problem, try addressing it directly with the person instead of talking behind their back.

Respect maybe Even More Crucial than Love

Before explaining how is that possible , Let’s ask ourselves one important question , How do you explain people who cheat on their partners and still profess their love after every time they get caught? I have to admit it that it puzzles me to no end how someone can say “I love you”, and then be with someone else, or engage in extramarital affairs. Then, there’s the aggrieved party who takes all that crap about loving and cheating because, well, they love the other person and that they hope that their love can transform, heal and make them stop cheating. Under the circumstances, love becomes an excuse that people in a relationship use to make their actions somewhat acceptable. It is also what keeps them together in spite of their misery, which I don’t think is love at all. But if there is respect, the situation would be a whole lot different and better. Respect is absolutely essential for a relationship to work. Love without respect is dangerous because it can have such a damaging effect on a person. In a relationship of respect, you have the responsibility to understand and appreciate your partner as a unique individual. Couples who respect each other recognize the value of individuality, and the importance of being able to be his or herself while in a relationship. They know that they each have different perspectives, opinions and dreams that should be shared and supported, rather than changed so they will conform to what the other person wants.
However, to love someone is to value another person in a way that’s special yet different than respect. Love adds bliss to a relationship and becomes healthy when strengthened with respect. Love provides the emotional balance that encourages each person through the difficult times that a relationship will inevitably endure.
When two people have respect for each other, they will eventually have love. This is because respect is a precondition or a pre-requisite for love.  Therefore, if you are looking for an indication that a person loves you, always start with respect. When you are respected, you are valued as a person of worth, your physical and emotional needs are secure, and your best interest is always of utmost importance.

Respect in various Beliefs

In Judaism: There are commandments that instruct us to give extra respect to certain people, The Torah says:
“You shall rise before a venerable person and you shall respect the elderly, and you shall fear your God. I am the Lord.” , To stand up before an elderly person: The Torah teaches us that people that have reached a certain stage in life are deserving of a certain level of honor. The reason for this is that they have accrued a large amount of life experience and this in and of itself is worthy of respect.

In Christianity: “Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king” (1 Peter 2:17). This passage encompasses four major areas of our lives, teaching us that, as followers of Christ, we should respect all men, other Christians, God, and governmental authorities.

“Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility: for God resisteth the proud, and giveth grace to the humble.” (Peter 5:5) To “submit” to someone means to voluntarily place ourselves under their authority because we trust their leadership.  Women submit to husbands because God has made the husband the head of the wife, just as Christ is the head of the church (Eph 5:22-24).  Employees are submissive to their employers because the employer is in a leadership role (Psalms 123:2; Eph 6:5; Col 3:22; 1 Tim 6:1; Titus 2:9; 1 Pet 2:18). Children are admonished to “obey” their parents in the Lord — Why?  Because it is the right thing to do! (Eph 6:1-3). Obedience is slightly different than submission in that it is not “voluntary”. Obedience requires immediate heed to the command of the authority.

In Islam: It is said by Holy Prophet (PBUH) that:-

He isn’t of us who isn’t kind to our youngsters, and shows no respect to our elders…
Hadith on Respect: The Prophet stands up for the funeral of a Jew out of respect for his humanity.
Qais ibn Sa’d reported: A funeral passed by the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, and he stood up. It was said to him, “It is a Jew.” The Prophet said, “Was he not a soul?” Source: Sahih Bukhari 1250, Sahih Muslim 961, Grade: Muttafaqun Alayhi (authenticity agreed upon) according to Al-Bukhari and Muslim

So what is the role of respect in Islam?  Islam states that it is the responsibility of each individual to treat all of creation with respect, honour and dignity.  The most deserving of respect is the Creator Himself.  Respect begins with loving and obeying the commandments of God and from this respect flow all the manners and high standards of morality that are inherent in Islam.

We can notice a pattern in all Three Divine Religions to respect elderly people. Also Respect Is Owed to All God Created, Since God created everything and pronounced everything good – Except for the devils -, we owe respect to what He made. If a famous artist draws something, others respect it because of who drew it. A rough sketch on wood Michelangelo used to stretch his canvas is respected because Michelangelo created it.
Teaching respect must include the fact that respect is owed to what God created , Simply because it was God Who created it.Whether it was an animal or another human.

Conclusion

Respect is the most coveted Award, We receive it based on our attitude,
Simple as the idea is, it is a difficult thing to carry out consistently. We all get anxious and scared and lose our composure at times. Being respectful doesn’t mean we can’t be human, it only means we maintain control over our reactions while in the presence of others. The respect we get from other people will grow according to our ability to do this, as will the respect we have for ourselves. We should always forgive ourselves when we fall short of respectful behavior, as we inevitably will, but we should also recognize respect for the important value that it is, and continuously strive for an ever greater ability to practice it in our everyday lives.

References

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Respect
https://www.quora.com/What-is-the-importance-of-respect-in-our-life
http://www.bravenewkitty.com/2011/11/the-importance-of-respect/

The Secret of Self-Respect: We Teach Other People How to Treat Us

http://cgrelationshipcoaching.com/is-respect-more-important-than-love-2/
http://www.scholaradvisor.com/essay-examples/analytical-essay-the-importance-of-self-respect/
http://www.inc.com/lolly-daskal/99-simple-ways-to-gain-the-respect-of-others.html

6 myths about respect

Respect Your Elders

Teaching Christian Respect

http://www.torah.org/learning/jewish-values/honoring2.html#
http://islamicencyclopedia.org/public/index/blogDetail/id/43
http://www.islamreligion.com/articles/1721/respect-part-1/

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