The extra second
It takes only seven seconds for us to judge another person when we first meet them,’ says Linda Blair, clinical psychologist and author of Straight Talking. ‘It’s not a conscious process, so we don’t even realise we’re doing it – but it goes back to our primitive roots when we couldn’t afford to make wrong decisions ‘. The name of this paragraph is inspired by Coca-cola Arabia Advertisement campaign
We should take an extra second to find others excuses for what they have done before judging them blindly.
It’s in our nature
God created us natural born sinners according to Prophet Muhammad PBUH Hadith narrated in Tirmidhi“All human beings without exception are sinful, but the best sinners are those who repent the most” So don’t Judge someone just because they sin differently than you. It is a sin in religious people perception or simply a mistake in other’s perception. One shouldn’t call others names bullying others because in God’s knowledge they might be better than us “O you who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames. Wretched is the name of disobedience after [one’s] faith. And whoever does not repent ,then it is those who are the wrongdoers.”Surat Al Hujirat 49:11.
Also we find this in The Holy Bible“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven” Luke 6:37.
The end result is pluralism and tolerance. So when a Hijabi Muslimah sees an American Muslim woman without hijab, she should not jump to adjudge the latter a woman of loose morals. And the latter, when she sees the former covered up, should not jump to the conclusion that she is repressed, for each has been brought up in a different society, interpreting things differently, serving the same Loving, Tolerant God. One may not understand why the other does what she does, but that does not make one or the other wrong, even though one system may perceive it that way.
Prophet Moses and Al-Khidr
In Surah Al Kahf from ayah 60 till 82, is the story of Prophet Moses and Khidr. To sum up the story briefly, Prophet Moses followed a learned man called Al-Khidr to get guidance. He kept seeing Al-Khidr do actions that to Moses seemed wrong and Musa would speak up and point out that they were wrong. At the end, it turned out that Al-Khidrs intention had been good all along and though his actions seemed wrong he was actually doing them to benefit the people. This shows us that there are things of which we have no knowledge and should not think that we do.
Moses did not err in his judgment as far as the human plane is concerned; he erred in not realizing that God had commanded the other person to do what he did, and all commands are for a reason. we may say that the Khidr episode also is paradigmatic. For it shows two servants of Allah — each doing what he does best. Moses, judging and thinking along the lines of his Shariah education, and Khidr, also judging and thinking according to what he knows. He realizes that Moses will not understand what he is doing, but nonetheless, tolerates it. This to me is a paradigm that we must use to show our relations with other religions — other representatives of the Divine. We must not condemn them without asking them to explain themselves, and often times, we will not get an explanation, but we should not jump to judgment.
The moral concept of this story that one simply does not possess omniscient knowledge to judge others only God possess such knowledge and God and God alone should judge us.
The Day of Judgement, is called that for a reason. God is the best of all judges and on that day everyone will be judged acording to their actions. We are merely human beings who have little understanding of these matters, so we should focus on ourselves so that we are not judged harshly by God on that day, rather than spending our energy on judging others.
The second agreement
In his book Don Miguel Ruiz ‘ The Four Agreement ‘ tells us about the second agreement ” Don’t make assumptions ” which is “We make the assumption that everyone sees life the way we do. We assume that others think the way we think, feel the way we feel, judge the way we judge, and abuse the way we abuse. This is the biggest assumption that humans make. And this is why we have afear of being ourselves around others. Because we think everyone else will judge us, victimize us, abuse us, and blame us as we do ourselves. So even before others have a chance to reject us, we have already rejected ourselves. That is the way the human mind works”
So the next time you start to judge something or someone else, think about all the times you’ve judged yourself. Give the same mercy for others that you would want for yourself. You’re just one perspective and there are as many perspectives in the world as there are people. So choose your words carefully because we shroud our words with judgment that are self-defeating, negative, and don’t help us get any closer to our goals and values. We need to recognize that we’re not the only ones making judgments, nor are any of the judgments facts. Judgments are simply our way of seeing the world, which is just one perspective.
Your own reflection
Your perceptions of others reveal so much about your own personality,” says Dustin Wood, assistant professor of psychology at Wake Forest and lead author of the study, about his findings. The researchers found a person’s tendency to describe others in positive terms is an important indicator of the positivity of the person’s own personality traits. They discovered particularly strong associations between positively judging others and how enthusiastic, happy, kind-hearted, courteous, emotionally stable and capable the person describes oneself and is described by others.
“Seeing others positively reveals our own positive traits,” Wood says.
In contrast, negative perceptions of others are linked to higher levels of narcissism and antisocial behavior. “A huge suite of negative personality traits are associated with viewing others negatively,” Wood says. “The simple tendency to see people negatively indicates a greater likelihood of depression and various personality disorders.” Given that negative perceptions of others may underlie several personality disorders. So how you view and judge others says a lot about you.
Jesus and the dog
One day Jesus and his disciples were walking in the old city, which had very narrow streets. They came across the carcass of a dead dog. The dog had been dead for a long time, and its rotten stench filled the whole alley. The disciples of Jesus held their noses, picked up the hem of their robes, and tiptoed around the dead creature. One of them said: “Whew … piff! What a horrible stench!” Another one said: “The very sight of this makes me sick to my stomach.” One by one they made their way past the dead creature, even as others in town gathered around the carcass to further remark on its hideousness. Jesus, and Jesus alone, stopped by the dead dog. He knelt down, and lovingly gazed at the dog. After a long pause, he finally said: “Praise be to God, what beautiful teeth this creature has.” He said that because it reflected on what he has from the inside.
We come to see that the dead dog is us, the disciples are us, and yes, even Jesus is inside our own selves. There is a part of our own being that is rotten, a part of us that would like to pass by other human beings without dealing with their ugliness, and there is that part of us, divine or divinely-illuminated, that can pause and reflect Jesus-like upon any and every situation and recognize the presence of God right then and there.And that, after all, is the whole goal of every religion: to take what is rotten in us, and transform it to something luminous and divine.
Why you shouldn’t judge others as long as they not harming anybody I’ll give you a few reasons.
1. One doesn’t have omniscient only God has, So you don’t know the whole story. Don’t judge a book by its cover.
2. Nobody’s perfect so why expect others to be .We all make mistakes so don’t judge someone because they sin differently than you.
3. It’s really not nice being judged, yet we so often do it to other people without thinking. So when you find yourself being judgmental, ask yourself how you would feel if you were the one on the receiving end? You wouldn’t be happy, and you’d want people to be more understanding, so offer the same to others.
4. Appearances may be deceptive , Things may not be as they seem. We can think that we know exactly what is going on, and yet in reality it’s quite different
5. Being more tolerant can be a good attribute to adopt. Perhaps you don’t approve of what someone has done, but even so, unless it’s something really awful, why not live and let live?